Off the rails
by Dr Dave
Summary: A staff member is caught in a vicious cycle of drug taking, will anyone help him? especially when there's a serial killer on the loose?


Disclaimer: I don't own ER if I did, Pratt would be fired and Dave would come back MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Off the rails  
  
He waited for the rickety old bus to depart before he walked on. He didn't want to be here, but something in his mind told him that he had to be here, he needed to be here. So he continued on his journey, traipsing around the filthy, unfriendly streets of downtown Chicago. He wasn't scared. Fear wasn't an issue for him. He'd seen and experienced far worse on the streets of New York. Hell, he'd seen worse in his childhood home. Maybe that was partly why he was here. He pressed on, passing young women dressed up in short, tight skirts, cropped tops flaunting their breasts, make-up plastered on to the limits. They called out to him, offering him their 'services' but he ignored them. He knew that they would probably be pretty if they didn't try so damn hard. He didn't have time for trivial matters such as those women. He was on a mission. He turned quickly into an alleyway next to a 'theatre'. He didn't want to be seen by anyone. He had a reputation to uphold. He turned up the collar on his well-worn leather jacket to ensure animosity. Ahead of him was his target, a young man with haggard looking features and leathery skin. The young man was dressed all in black, a worn out looking baseball cap rammed on over his black greasy hair, some of which hung in his eyes. The young man's hands were jammed into the deep pockets of his PVC trench-coat. "Yo Paisan"! The young man's gravely voice greeted, fused with the remnants of an Italian accent. "Vincenzo" He replied softly. He hated this, but he knew he needed it. It was his lifeline. "The usual"? Vincenzo drawled.  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"The money Paisan" Vincenzo demanded.  
  
He dug into the pocket of his leather jacket and produced the notes. The notes he'd worked hard for. Vincenzo took them and smiled graciously. He was nice when he had his money. Vincenzo smiled again as he handed over the small silver packet in return. "Until next time Paisan" Vincenzo smirked.  
  
"No" He said forcefully.  
  
"You always say that" Vincenzo said with a mocking laugh as if the two were sharing an old, familiar joke. Vincenzo lit a cigarette and let it hang from his chapped lips. "Have fun Paisan, I must be going. There's more like you out here tonight" He added with a chuckle. Vincenzo departed, leaving him alone in the alleyway.  
  
He stared at the silver packet in his hands. He quickly stuffed it into his pocket. He turned and began to walk the short distance back to the bus stop.  
  
~*~  
  
"Jerry I need those labs back ASAP"! Carter ordered as he dashed past the admit desk at Cook County General. Jerry nodded in response, wondering if Dr Carter ever stopped for breath. "Have a good night Jerry" Luka Kovac said as he left the lounge and headed to the exit. "'night Dr Kovac" Jerry replied. He silently cursed the Croatian Attending. That lucky bastard would be home soon. "Jerry where's Malucci"? Kerry Weaver demanded. "I don't know, I haven't seen him all night" Jerry said, quickly making it look like he was doing something. He didn't want to get 'Weavered'. "When he does come in, tell him from me that's he's on rectals all night. That's his punishment for being late"! Kerry yelled as she hobbled off. Jerry sighed deeply, feeling sympathy for the junior resident.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave sat up on the roof of the hospital. His hand was in his pocket, clenched around his lifeline. He stared at the backpack beside him, knowing it contained cigarette papers and a lighter. Yet he was trying to resist. He had only bought the damn stuff half an hour ago and he was already craving it. He tried to think of other things, his dates, his work, his son.  
  
Shit.  
  
Michael, why the hell didn't he consider him in all of this? The poor kid was only four years old and he would have a drug addict for a father. Dave cursed himself at those words, drug addict. He wasn't a drug addict. That's what he tried to convinced himself. He didn't need the drugs. That's why he was trying to resist. To prove to himself that he wasn't addicted. Only it wasn't working. He was still craving it, wanting to feel the euphoria of the drug. He wanted to inhale the toxic fumes and feel that glorifying high that came with it.  
  
Fuck it.  
  
He reached into his pocket and began to pull out the small silver packet. With the other hand, he grabbed his backpack, searching for the booty that lay inside. He stopped however when he heard the distinctive sound of the door that led to the roof opening. It clanged shut with a loud, metallic sound and Dave whipped his head around. He almost laughed out loud. As it transpired, it was merely the wind who was his visitor. Forgetting about the lively weather, Dave went back to the task at hand, rolling his joint.  
  
It was completed in a matter of minutes. Ready to be smoked, ready to cure his ills, take away the pain of his miserable existence. He practically worshipped this small stick, it was his relief. He placed it between his lips and lit it. He inhaled deeply, taking in the toxic substance. Soon he would forget everything, his work problems, his money problems and his past. Dave leant back, allowing his back to touch the cold concrete beneath it. He relaxed and allowed the drug to take over his body. He knew that when he finally did return to normality, he would have to face life again. He closed his eyes and floated away.  
  
Wake me up inside Wake me up inside Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
~*~  
  
God he loved her smile. Whenever she smiled he wanted to smile too. He wanted to run up and down the streets, proclaiming his love for her to anyone who would listen. "Luka, you're staring again" Abby said as she tried to bring her boyfriend back to earth. "You're so beautiful Abby" Luka replied, a far off look on his face.  
  
"So you tell me, five times a night" Abby joked. The pair were currently dining at their favourite restaurant. Luka had presented Abby with a deep red rose. Abby liked these little gestures Luka would provide her with. The little love notes she found in her locker, the flowers that were delivered to the nurse's station and the occasional bottle of perfume he had delivered to her apartment. She loved Luka and there was definitely no doubt that he loved her. "Where would you like to go after this"? Luka asked. "There are supposed to be some good movies on at the moment"  
  
"I'd rather just head home" Abby said with a playful smirk. The Croatian's face fell as she said this. A disappointed look crossed his face. "Oh"  
  
"I was hoping you'd join me" She added, putting her hand on top of his. Luka looked deep into her eyes and smiled at her. "I would love to" He whispered.  
  
~*~  
  
"Malucci, you're late" Kerry Weaver chided as Dave entered the ER. He sighed deeply. He didn't need this right now. Then again, when did he ever need it? "I'm sorry Chief" Dave replied, his words lacking all meaning.  
  
"Don't let this happen again Malucci or I shall seriously have to consider your position at this hospital" Kerry warned.  
  
"Yes Chief"  
  
"As you should know, you're on rectals tonight. That will serve as your punishment" Kerry continued, the slight hint of a smirk on her face. God she loved her job. "Yes Chief" Dave muttered. "Festus" He grumbled after she'd hobbled off.  
  
"Sorry man" Jerry said sympathetically.  
  
"Doesn't bother me" Dave lied, staring after the angry red head. He sighed again, his high having worn off ages ago. As he picked up a patients chart, he felt that biting feeling of needing it again. Dave shook his head forcefully.  
  
'I'm not addicted, I don't need it. I only think I do'  
  
'Everything will be alright if I just concentrate on my work'  
  
Dave quickly headed in the direction of the curtain area. He didn't want to think about the drugs, he couldn't afford to.  
  
'No. I'm not addicted, see? I'm fine!'  
  
~*~  
  
She slipped her dress off with ease. Luka felt his pulse rate increase slightly. Abby really was beautiful. He pulled off his shirt and they stood for a second, each admiring the other's body. The next moment, they were together, entwined in a perfect, lingering kiss. Their sparks of passion inflamed as Luka led Abby to his bedroom. He kissed her, again and again as she stared to pull his trousers off. His moans of pleasure blended with hers. They were both ready for this; they had both waited so long. Abby gently fell back onto the bed as Luka continued his kisses. She stroked his back as she welcomed the passionate assault.  
  
The phone rang.  
  
"Leave it" She moaned, wanting more of then man that was looking down on her now. "It might be important" Luka said as he kissed her neck.  
  
"Please Luka" Abby begged. She didn't want to wait a moment longer for this; she'd already waited too long. "Sorry" Luka apologised as he reached over and grabbed the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Luka"! The caller said excitedly.  
  
"Oh my god" Luka whispered as he stared down at Abby, disbelief written on his face.  
  
~*~  
  
Dave burst through the ER doors, elated when the cool, morning air struck his face. It had been another one of those slow night shifts where nothing had happened. He would be glad to get back to his apartment, his son, his bed..  
  
Boy, I sure could go for a joint.  
  
Dave gasped out loud. Where had that come from? He shook his head, trying to banish those thoughts. It was those kinds of thoughts that would lead him into the vicious cycle of drug addiction. "Morning Dr Dave" Malik greeted as he approached the entrance to the ER. He added a cheerful wave as an after thought. "Morning Malik" Dave replied with a nod. He dismissed his co-worker as he carried on walking, making his weary way to the El. Since his bike was in the shop, he'd had to take the train to and from work. On his way to the station, he passed Luka and Abby. Even from an outsider's, Dave's, point of view, things between the couple looked strained. If Dave's mind wasn't on other things, he would've relished the chance of being the first to get this piece of hot gossip. "Morning guys"! Dave greeted with his trademark grin. Why should he let them know he wasn't feeling like himself? It was none of their business. Besides, it seemed like the two of them were both having their own problems. "Morning Malucci" Abby grumbled, a scowl on her face. She barely looked at the junior resident, too intent on getting her point across to her boyfriend. "Why won't you tell me Luka? What's so bad"? She demanded.  
  
"Good morning Dave" Luka greeted, pointedly ignoring Abby. Dave simply nodded and continued to walk, deciding it was best to stay out of that one.  
  
"Don't ignore me"! He heard Abby yell. Dave felt himself shudder slightly. It reminded him of the fights he used to have with Michael's mother.  
  
Now I really need a joint.  
  
Dave shook his head again. He had to get rid of those thoughts, the thoughts that were trying to corrupt him. He couldn't become a drug addict. He wasn't a drug addict. He was just an occasional user. No, he definitely wasn't addicted.  
  
~*~  
  
"Can we talk about this later? I do not think work is the place to discuss these matters" Luka said as he stormed through the doors of the ER. He was trying very hard not to lose his cool with Abby. His phone call had been shocking enough. He didn't need his girlfriend nagging him in such a way. "No we'll talk about it now Luka, who was on the other end of that phone"? Abby asked angrily. She followed him into the lounge, her angry footsteps heavy on the tiled floor of the ER. "Just leave it" Luka warned, hoping this would silence his lover. But Abby being Abby, didn't want to let it drop. "No I will not Luka. I want to know who was on the other end of that phone and your obvious need to keep it a secret makes me very suspicious"  
  
"What makes you think that you have a right to know who was speaking to me? You do not own me" Luka argued back. He wrenched his locker open. He was getting more and more angry. He practically threw his bag into the small locker. Abby winced slightly, seeing how mad Luka was getting. However, she proceeded further. "Luka as your partner I have a right to know, so I demand you tell me"! She yelled. "Don't push me Abby" Luka said quietly.  
  
"Are you threatening me"? Abby asked, staring at her boyfriend, hands on her hips.  
  
"I do not want to fight about this Abby" Luka replied as he threw his stethoscope around his neck. "It's a bit late for that now" Abby muttered.  
  
The two lovers simply stared at each other, both strongly aware of the icy tension that had slowly built up in this confined space. Neither knew what to say, or even where to go next. Luka could see the anger in Abby's eyes as Abby could see the frustration and hurt in Luka's. They were both silently glad, when Haleh put her head around the door. "Dr Kovac they need you in trauma one, a serious GSW has just been brought in" She said. "I coming" Luka answered. He took a final glance at his very pissed off girlfriend before leaving the lounge. Abby stared at the closed door for a couple of seconds before throwing her empty coffee cup at it.  
  
~*~  
  
Luka stared at the white sheeting covering the dead body. There were a few remaining splatters of blood on the tiled trauma room floor. The other doctors and nurses working on this victim had long since departed, but a small, almost perverse part of Luka wanted to stay until the body was taken away. He was transfixed by the corpse but also sickened. It reminded him of back home in Croatia, the white sheets that had covered his own family's bodies. And now, here lay someone else's son. A young man aged only twenty one, cut down before he even had a chance to do anything with his life. Luka considered the shamelessness of it all. He hated seeing a good life go to waste. Especially one as promising as this guy had, apparently the young man was an up and coming medical student. Luka sighed deeply, he saw the mortician enter the room, ready to move the body. Luka couldn't deny he felt relief.  
  
~*~  
  
He was here again, the same street, the same alleyway. Darkness had finally arrived and although he hated every second of it, Dave knew he had to do this again. He passed those same girls. They were obviously regulars to this patch, selling their bodies to pay for their drug habits. 'Vicious cycle, that one' Dave thought to himself as he had passed them. Vincenzo was waiting at the very end of the alleyway. He was half concealed in the shadows cast by some stinking, overflowing dumpsters. Dave felt his stomach twist in knots at the thought of what he was about to do. He could smell the throat clenching smell of Vodka that always seemed to follow Vincenzo around. Vincenzo looked up and caught Dave's eyes. A sly smile came across the drug dealer's face. Dave frowned, he hated proving Vincenzo right. "I knew you'd be back Paisan" Vincenzo said in a mocking tone.  
  
"I don't need your 'I told you so' Vince" Dave spat.  
  
"Let me guess Paisan, that junk doesn't last as long anymore" Vincenzo sneered.  
  
"And how did you come to that conclusion"? Dave asked shakily. Maybe Vincenzo had a point there. "Because you're coming on a more frequent basis, there's nothing I don't know about people like you Paisan" Dave was slightly stumped, although he hadn't really given it that much thought. Vincenzo had a point. The highs did seem to wear of quicker. Vincenzo took a deep drag from his cigarette. He appeared to be considering something. "Tell you what Paisan, I'll give you something stronger for half price as a one off deal. See how that works for you and come back when you want more" Dave bit his lip slightly. This did sound like a tempting offer. What the hell, he thought. Anything had to be better than this constant pain that gnawed at his soul. Dave nodded to Vincenzo and Vincenzo immediately produced a small package. Dave handed some money over and Vincenzo smiled. "Have fun Paisan" He said, his voice laced with a snake-like charm.  
  
"Yeah" Dave said absently. "What's this stuff again"?  
  
Vincenzo's smile increased. "Heroine" He answered.  
  
END OF CHAPTER ONE 


End file.
